I can't create for you
And why that's not about you
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Now let’s dive in.
I started crocheting again.
And with it came the messages. Friends and family sending me Instagram reels and YouTube tutorials. “Can you make this for me?” “I’d love one like that!”
I said no to each one. Without guilt.
“I only create what I feel like creating.”
Most of them took it personally. Some felt I was being difficult and rude. Others thought it meant I didn’t value them.
But I’m not changing my answer. I will keep saying no. Because it’s not about them.
You know why I create?
The very act of indulging in any creative project is that I’m doing it for myself. To fulfil my soul. To relax. To find joy in the making.
I don’t want to attach expectations to this. The moment external expectations appear, the charm goes away. And so does the reason I want to come back to it.
I want to keep coming back to crochet whenever I feel like it. For the pleasure of creation itself. Not because someone’s waiting for something I promised to make.
I’ve gifted many handmade pieces to people I love. But only as gifts. When I feel moved to make something for someone. When the joy of giving matches the joy of creating. And I’ll keep it that way.
Right now, I'm running Book to Visuals, where I guide people in converting the core ideas of a book into visuals. Even though they're learning to share their visuals with others, the act of creation still starts with their own need to express. An idea has to make sense to them first. Only then can they share it and connect with others who think like them.
No act of creation can start from the outside. The push needs to be internal before it can pull somebody toward it. This is true for my crochet. This is true for their visuals. This is true for any creative work.
You can challenge people to create something when they’re actively trying to grow that skill. But only when they ask for it. When it’s part of their own creative journey.
But when someone creates for the pure joy of it? Let them keep that sacred. Let them choose the projects that fulfil their soul rather than the ones that fulfil your desires.
I understand the impulse to ask. When you see something beautiful that someone made, of course, you want one too. That’s natural. And if you really need something specific made, many talented people have turned their passion into their profession. They want to create for you. They need the work. Hire them. Support their livelihood.
That way, creators who want to create for themselves can keep that joy. And creators who want to create for others can thrive doing what they love.
We can sustain many more creators this way :)
Take a Little Pause 🌼
What’s the one thing you do purely for yourself? What boundaries do you need to create to keep this love intact?
I’d love to know how you gently communicate your boundaries. It’s something I’m still learning 😊
Love my visuals? Now learn how to create them 🌸
Starting March 2026, I'm running the third cohort of my bootcamp, Book to Visuals: A 4-Week Practice Lab. Transform one book into simple hand-drawn visuals using pencil and paper. No drawing experience needed.
Start your journey from reader to visual creator. Click the button below to register your interest. Live sessions & personalised feedback every week. 10 seats only. USD 99 for a limited time.
What am I reading? 📖
Show Your Work by Austin Kleon — It’s giving me the courage to reveal not only what I make, but how I make it.
Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli — It’s reminding me of the quiet magic of daily life, and the freedom of doing things for no reason other than joy.
Ways to support my creative journey 🎨✨
Register for my 4-week practice lab to learn how to create visuals. Third cohort starts in March!
License my illustrations – Love any of my illustrations? Use it for your brand.
Hire me to illustrate for your brand, concept or upcoming book.
Take a Little Pause is an illustrated weekly newsletter for anyone navigating the beautiful messiness of building a creative, calm and intentional life. If you’re on a similar journey, subscribe for free or become a paid supporter to support my writing and help bring my dream of publishing a coffee-table book to life. 💛